Thursday, January 15, 2009

Ramblin' Man Volume I

The blog post in which I ramble, coherently hopefully.

Every time I see the following commercials it upsets me:

This new Pizza Hut commercial in which they put people in a room and tell them about this all natural gourmet pizza made by chefs for them, but it is really Pizza Hut. This upsets me for a couple of reasons, isn't Pizza Hut admitting to making crappy pizza and is now making up for it? After 50 years we are finally using natural ingredients, enjoy! The other thing that grinds my gears is this just shows that people are sheep. You get them all in a room and tell them about this gourmet meal they are going to have and they all can't wait to tell you how "decedent" it was. It reminds me of parties in High School errr when I was 21 and how I always wanted to have a keg full of O'Douls and watch clowns act all drunk and tell you how hammered they are.

The Kay commercial that was running during Christmas. A man buys what I assume is a somewhat expensive piece of jewelry for his deaf girlfriend, but goes on about his signing is not very good. How long must these two be together that he bought her jewelry for Christmas? 6 months? More? He is willing spend money on jewelry on this deaf chick that he hasn't even learned enough sign language to have a real conversation with? Really?

Doesn't any ad with Vlade Divac in it have to have him flopping at some point? For the next one I want to see Vlady hitting the deck as a burrito backs him down.

Who's idea was it to market Bud Light as drinkable? Is that really the best way to go about selling your product? Don't let those Miller Lite drinkers fool you, our beer is totally drinkable! How many buds do I have to take down before I can pull a map out of thin air though?

Is it bad that the first thing I thought of when reading the Eddie Curry story, was damn all those things I was yelling at the TV when he was in Chicago were true? How long before you get tired of hearing one of your buddies making a Curry joke? A week, 2 weeks, a month? I say never.

I am pretty neutral on the White Sox signing Bartolo Colon, but I am going to be pissed if he finds the hot dog vendor in my section before me.

How long before the White Sox have the first ever infield made up entirely of Cubans? Gordon Beckham might want to forge that birth certificate.

Is Shaq the only person in the world who can give himself a nickname and no one will say anything bad about him? I have always thought giving yourself a nickname was pretty lame, but I won't tell the Diesel that.

Who should be more upset about Bradford staying at Oklahoma, Mizzou fans or Stafford? We are used to Oklahoma dominating us, but now Matthew is a lock for Detroit.

Mark Prior was given another contract and I think Prior is one more quality season away from being inducted into the Simulated games Hall of Fame.

What kind of prop action can I get on what happens to Milton Bradley first? Fist fight with Zambrano: 3-1, blowing out a knee while yelling at umpire as the Wrigley faithful cheer him on: 5-1, an altercation after a bleacher bum dumps a beer on him: even. Who wants in on some of that?

Now that the Cubs have signed Bradley does this make Fukudome the highest paid minor leaguer ever? Thanks again for choosing the north side, Horry Cow!

Is the highlight of Joey Gathright's career going to be the YouTube videos where he jumps over cars? I am going to put a Pat Sheehan guarantee on this.

I just learned that after Pacino's famous speech in Any Given Sunday, the Sharks allowed the opening kick for a touchdown. This has to be the most overrated pump up speech of all time right? I watch that scene to get ready for a big playoff game, to get motivated to take the dog out for a walk, to make myself a bowl of cereal in the morning and now I feel like I have been cheated.

After reading reviews of Righteous Kill it got me thinking, are Pacino and De Niro the Holyfield of Hollywood? What is the last relevant film these guys have been in? It might be a time to hang up the gloves before you sound like Sly Stallone in Rocky 5 for the rest of your lives. It might be for the best.

I only have one prediction for the upcoming MLB season, the Yankees will not win it, so can we all stop whining about a salary cap? More on this later in the week...


  1. You referred to a Commercial in the beginning of your article. The commercial people really exhaust our minds.

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