Thursday, January 15, 2009

Ramblin' Man Volume I

The blog post in which I ramble, coherently hopefully.

Every time I see the following commercials it upsets me:

This new Pizza Hut commercial in which they put people in a room and tell them about this all natural gourmet pizza made by chefs for them, but it is really Pizza Hut. This upsets me for a couple of reasons, isn't Pizza Hut admitting to making crappy pizza and is now making up for it? After 50 years we are finally using natural ingredients, enjoy! The other thing that grinds my gears is this just shows that people are sheep. You get them all in a room and tell them about this gourmet meal they are going to have and they all can't wait to tell you how "decedent" it was. It reminds me of parties in High School errr when I was 21 and how I always wanted to have a keg full of O'Douls and watch clowns act all drunk and tell you how hammered they are.

The Kay commercial that was running during Christmas. A man buys what I assume is a somewhat expensive piece of jewelry for his deaf girlfriend, but goes on about his signing is not very good. How long must these two be together that he bought her jewelry for Christmas? 6 months? More? He is willing spend money on jewelry on this deaf chick that he hasn't even learned enough sign language to have a real conversation with? Really?

Doesn't any ad with Vlade Divac in it have to have him flopping at some point? For the next one I want to see Vlady hitting the deck as a burrito backs him down.

Who's idea was it to market Bud Light as drinkable? Is that really the best way to go about selling your product? Don't let those Miller Lite drinkers fool you, our beer is totally drinkable! How many buds do I have to take down before I can pull a map out of thin air though?

Is it bad that the first thing I thought of when reading the Eddie Curry story, was damn all those things I was yelling at the TV when he was in Chicago were true? How long before you get tired of hearing one of your buddies making a Curry joke? A week, 2 weeks, a month? I say never.

I am pretty neutral on the White Sox signing Bartolo Colon, but I am going to be pissed if he finds the hot dog vendor in my section before me.

How long before the White Sox have the first ever infield made up entirely of Cubans? Gordon Beckham might want to forge that birth certificate.

Is Shaq the only person in the world who can give himself a nickname and no one will say anything bad about him? I have always thought giving yourself a nickname was pretty lame, but I won't tell the Diesel that.

Who should be more upset about Bradford staying at Oklahoma, Mizzou fans or Stafford? We are used to Oklahoma dominating us, but now Matthew is a lock for Detroit.

Mark Prior was given another contract and I think Prior is one more quality season away from being inducted into the Simulated games Hall of Fame.

What kind of prop action can I get on what happens to Milton Bradley first? Fist fight with Zambrano: 3-1, blowing out a knee while yelling at umpire as the Wrigley faithful cheer him on: 5-1, an altercation after a bleacher bum dumps a beer on him: even. Who wants in on some of that?

Now that the Cubs have signed Bradley does this make Fukudome the highest paid minor leaguer ever? Thanks again for choosing the north side, Horry Cow!

Is the highlight of Joey Gathright's career going to be the YouTube videos where he jumps over cars? I am going to put a Pat Sheehan guarantee on this.

I just learned that after Pacino's famous speech in Any Given Sunday, the Sharks allowed the opening kick for a touchdown. This has to be the most overrated pump up speech of all time right? I watch that scene to get ready for a big playoff game, to get motivated to take the dog out for a walk, to make myself a bowl of cereal in the morning and now I feel like I have been cheated.

After reading reviews of Righteous Kill it got me thinking, are Pacino and De Niro the Holyfield of Hollywood? What is the last relevant film these guys have been in? It might be a time to hang up the gloves before you sound like Sly Stallone in Rocky 5 for the rest of your lives. It might be for the best.

I only have one prediction for the upcoming MLB season, the Yankees will not win it, so can we all stop whining about a salary cap? More on this later in the week...

Friday, January 9, 2009

On the third day, God Created Tebow

Did you know that no one in college football works harder than Tim Tebow? I think I heard that you will never see a team play harder than Tebow's Gators.

Some things you may have missed while watching last night's "Championship" game:

Just spending 5 minutes around Tebow makes Thom Brennaman a better person apparently.
Tim Tebow is not only the greatest college football player ever, but he is the greatest human ever to walk this earth.
Percy Harvin did not take a cortisone shot for his ankle, but rather Tim Tebow used his divine powers to heal it in pregame warm ups.
After every touchdown, Tim Tebow ascended into clouds and Slapped hands with Saint Peter.

But seriously when Tim Tebow was levitating in mid air while circumcising Filipino kids during his jump pass for a touchdown to put the game away, it gave me time to think about where he ranks among all time greats. When talking about this, you have to throw projections at the next level out the window as they are irrelevant to the discussion. He has definitely entered the discussion of best College players ever. All hyperbole aside, there is no denying he is a great leader and runs Urban Meyer's system to perfection. Two championships and one Heisman puts him in rare company. As a college football player Tebow is a fantastic runner and can make the throws he needs to make. He is not a pure passer as evident by the first interception he threw in one of the few NFL type passes Tebow would attempt all night. But in Meyer's offense he does not have to be an NFL quarterback, he needs to run the option and make quick throws and he does it to perfection. Along with most people, I don't think Tebow translates to the NFL as a QB, but that will never take away from his college career.

Oddly enough I respected Tebow the most when he was given the 15 yard unsportsmanlike penalty. It showed that even God's gift to mankind could not resist the temptation to taunt the Sooners who had said he would not have been the 4th best quarterback in the Big 12.

As for the game, I cannot wait until Florida plays Texas and USC and Utah meet in the semifinals as this is going to be one of the greatest playoffs ever...errrr wait a minute

We settled who the best team that the computers voted for was, but what else was settled last night? I can't fathom that there are still people out there that think we don't need a playoff. The people that created the BCS and those who still argue against a playoff make we wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time and shake them as babies. I have heard that there would be too many travel issues, it would make the regular season meaningless and teams would still be complaining about not making the field.

Travel issues are a joke. How is that different than any playoff system in sports? Quick solution, all games after the first round are at a predetermined neutral site. Problem solved.

Why would the regular season be meaningless? Now that teams can survive one loss the regular season is now worthless, really? There would not be drama the last couple of weeks as teams fought to make the top 16, 12, 8 or whatever format is decided? Right now what is the incentive to schedule anyone decent out of conference? One loss and you could be finished depending on where you started in the poll. Every other sport has a playoff and some how the regular season does not suffer, but some how college football's will? I don't see it.

As for the last point about teams complaining that don't make it in the field, that may be the most ridiculous reason of the bunch. People complain, it is a fact of life, but who cares about a team who could not get into the top 8? Again not a valid reason to fix a flawed system because a couple teams will still be complaining.

How great would an NFL style of playoffs looked this year? 12 teams get in while Florida, Oklahoma, Texas and USC get first round byes. This year would have had first round games of, Alabama vs Cincinnati, Utah vs TCU, Texas Tech vs Ohio State and Penn State vs Boise State. Where do I sign up?